Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Updates, Andy Griffith, and a Picture of My Feet

Folly gets angry when she sets up expectations for men and they neglect to reach them.  Even if those expectations are normal expectations for a 30-year-old like being a man, having some cajones, and asking for her number, Folly still gets angry.

And an angry Folly leads to an angry blog post, so I apologize, dear follies, that my last post regarding The Bandleader not asking for my number came off a little...angry.

Don't try to tell me it didn't, or that I was justified.  It was an angry post.  I could tell.  And for the most part that anger was unintentional.

I just don't understand why a thirty-year old man is too much of a pansy-chicken to ask for my number.  Sure, I could ignore his body language and say he's not interested.  That's no biggie.  Sometime setups just don't work out.  Fine.  But I don't think that's the case.  The Negative Nancy inside me thinks he's a bit of a playboy - not an unrealistic assumption for the leader of a rock band, yeah?  The Positive Polly thinks he's just being a pansy-chicken.  Nancy and Polly don't always get along.

But I post this because a) I apologize if I seemed mildly psychotic about having a crush on a boy (I swear I'm not 16 and Crazy - although that could be a fun show...MTV call me!) and b) because something happened yesterday morning that made me smile and needs to be shared.

Every morning, or nearly every morning, I stop by the Panera next to my office for coffee.  There is often an older man who resembles Andy Griffith sitting in a window seat, eating his breakfast.  Yesterday morning, as I filled my cup with a delicious dark roast and listened to Arcade Fire in my headphones (GENIUS album, btw), Mr. Andy Griffith approached the coffee and, while filling his cup greeted me with a sweet smile.  He commented that he sees me every morning and has wanted to wave or say hello for some time, then asked me where I work.  I told him, and we chatted for a bit.  Then he told me to have a good day, and he went back to his seat.

I left in a great mood, and thought to myself that men today could take a lesson in etiquette and talking to girls from that man.  He was polite, he was kind, and I doubt he had any expectations of getting a date with me.  That didn't stop him from talking to a pretty girl.

I don't encounter this often with men today.  Sure, you could say that Mr. Andy Griffith here had a different motive than any other guy I may encounter, but honestly, why should that matter? The point here is that Mr. Griffith was polite and complimentary.  When a guy who is actually polite does approach me (see here: Bandleader, The), they stop just short of being complimentary (unless calling me "Out of this world" on the fly counts??) and chicken out. 

Maybe Mr. Andy Griffith has had enough life experience to be so forward.  Maybe he's just of a different generation.  But he didn't have to have a conversation with me while we both filled up our coffee cups.  He could have simply nodded hello and gone back to his seat.  Instead, he spent a few extra moments talking to me about the day, my job, and how he's noticed me before.

I don't think it's too much to ask that men today take a lesson from previous generations and just be open to having a conversation with a girl.  MAN UP! Take a chance.  Talk.  And SMILE!


Mom asked me this past weekend if I'd consider online dating, and that perhaps I should consider online dating.  I explained that I just don't have the money right now to use a site that I trust.  It's aggravating because I'd like to get into online dating (or, rather, I feel like I need to be open to online dating) but the timing just doesn't seem to be working out right now.  I know I want to be in a relationship and dating someone and whatnot, but I just can't justify another monthly expenditure with my budget and work issues right now. ARGH.

In related news, I'm always open for blind dates and setups, so if you've got a guy who's looking for a lady... ;)


Also, I apologize for subjecting you to my ugly, unpedicured feet in the Saturday night post.  Here's a pic where I've pedicured them, sans fake bruise.

Does this pose make my feet look fat?

Last update!  I've received some mixed messages from fellow friends on how to proceed with The Bandleader.  The responses were overwhelmingly for me contacting him and asking him out, which is, as we've been over, not really a me thing to do.  Then today I spoke with another coworker about The Bandleader.  She heard the story and said, "Hm, sounds like he's trouble." Then I sent her a pic of The Bandleader (it was a slow afternoon) and she said, "Yeah, Folly, he totally looks like trouble". 

I've decided I'm just gonna go with my gut on this one.  My boss told me I read too many articles on dating and flirting (which I try to avoid doing at work, oops!) and that I'd be perfectly fine on my own, without the advice.  So, maybe I should try it.  Maybe I should just try listening to myself and doing what I think is best, not what other people, or articles, or "experts" think is best.

So Follies - will I be contacting The Bandleader? Will I be inviting him to have some coffee with me, away from a concert?  Ahhhhh.....

No :)


Josie said...

Er Folly, the first photo sans pedicure actually is more flattering to your feet, no matter how pretty the nail polish is on this one. Sorry. Thought we were blogging buddies enough for me to be brutally honest.
Good luck with the internet dating if you do it; I am, with no joy. Once you get older the men get older and uglier. . . and I've gotten more picky too.
To take the sting out of my harsh foot comment may I say the outfit last Saturday night was lovely, very cute.
May you have more Andy Griffith type interaction but with younger men who want to ask you out!
Josie x

Folly of One said...

BAHAHAHA Oh, Josie, please feel free to be brutally honest with me!! I don't mind. I think the one with the fake bruise is a better picture of my foot/feet as well, but I just had to fix the nail polish after I posted that picture. I guess I'm more "girly-girl" than I like to admit :)