Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Third Time's the Charm! it?

Non-date number three is this weekend, Follies, and this is a Do or Die moment in the non-romance between The Bandleader and me.  We've met, we've chatted and hung out, we've danced the night away, and now he needs to ask for my number.  Detractors can make their claims like "Ohhhhh, don't be a pansy, YOU should ask for HIS number!" but no. I will not ask for his number.  My brother says that I may have to suck it up and do it, that it would make for a wonderful story down the road for our children a lá "your father was too chicken to ask me out" but again I say NO.  Now let me be clear, I have nothing against making a move on a guy in theory, and I often enjoy visiting known Cougar Dens to watch the older women put the moves on the hot young men.  But you see, Follies, I have asked guys out before.

It has never ended well.

It has never ended well because every time -- EVERY. TIME. -- I have ever asked a guy out they've stopped talking to me.  Completely stop talking to me.  In high school, in college, didn't matter.  I wish I could say I'm making this up or I'm exaggerating the truth but I'm not.  Literally every time I've asked a guy out they've completely cut off contact.

It's weird.

Add to that weirdness the various conversations I've had with guys since college, where nearly every guy says that a girl asking them out is forward and great but ultimately they don't like it and are actually slightly TURNED OFF by it, and suddenly I think, "Why the fuck am I putting myself out there when they don't even like it?"

Because of all this, I've reached the point where I just say "Screw It!" and I let the guys come to me.  I am a princess (sayeth my brother).  I am an apple at the top of the tree that is waiting to be picked by the right guy (sayeth this quote).  I do not simply stand in a corner and wait for guys to physically come to me.  I flirt to the best of my ability and I go out, and I make sure to enjoy myself no matter what I'm doing.  Guys talk to me.  I get attention.  At some point, guys just need to grow a friggin' ballsack and ask me out.  And if they don't ask me out after multiple interactions, I can only assume they're not actually interested.

SO.  Saturday Night.  8pm.  His band will play.  I will dance.

And, I say hopefully, I will discover if The Bandleader is interested in Folly, or if he's just being polite for the sake of his friend's wife.

It's go time.


Josie said...

I hear ya Folly! The only good thing about asking a guy out is then you definitely whether or not he's interested. . .How very nerve wracking for you on Satdee night. Fingers crossed. You better report back!
Josie x

Claire said...

Good luck. My flirtatious, a little aloof and make sure that you've done what you can to ensure that he knows you're interested and that the ball is in his court. I can't begrudge you wanting him to make the moves. If he doesn't do anything, then maybe you can decide it's time to move on.

Claire said...

But now I think about my comment and I think maybe it's unfair. Sometimes it's nice to let things develop organically and have kind of a casual thing. The whole dating thing may go better if you've got a bit of a foundation instead of having to start dating and simultaneously figuring out if you mesh.

Bottom line, I haven't done that much dating, so my advice is probably "meh" at best. You're smart, pretty, funny...and if you guys get to know each other a bit and mesh well, then that's great.

Folly of One said...

Josie - Oh, I will definitely be reporting back on how Sat night goes!!

Claire - Yes! It needs to grow organically! I think that's probably one of the hurdles, if not THE largest hurdle, when being setup with someone. I guess we'll see how things go!