I can haz flirting?

I'm going to start off this post with a little background about me: I can't flirt.  I'm much more "Little-miss-nice-and-polite-with-smiles-and-the-occasional-arm-touch" than I am "Get-my-flirt-on-WORD-UP-Y'ALL".  In addition to this, I generally have a hard time reading into whether or not a guy is, in turn, flirting with me.

Now, more than two months after breaking up with D, I'm finally reaching the "Acceptance" phase of the breakup, and in the last week alone I've met two young men. This = me feeling AWESOME.

But there's a problem.

...*cricket*...

I'm having a really hard time remembering how to flirt, what to say, what to do. And I'm having an even harder time figuring out if a guy is Flirting-Flirting with me or just Politely-Flirting with me.

What a hard life I lead, right?

Anyhoo, with the first young gentleman I'm rather positive that he was Flirting-Flirting with me. Mr. Policy, as we'll call him, was incredibly talkative and even tripped down the stairs while talking to me.  I teased him about missing the step, and he seemed to take that well (a good sign that he has a sense of humor, yes?).  Only issue with Mr. Policy is that he works in the same building I do, which at my office is basically akin to dating a coworker.

Then Saturday night I met The Bandleader.  The Bandleader is incredibly tall (I was wearing flats and was literally craning my neck to speak with him) and cute.  He is a teacher, and I was introduced to him by a coworker after his band played at a nearby dive bar.  My coworkers and I missed the show since we were coming from a previous event. Basically the night was him running around doing band stuff, the coworker trying to bring him over to me, and then us talking at the very end of the night. We made eye contact a lot, he randomly tapped me on the arm with his water bottle, and there was much smiling.

I haven't had a chance to speak to the coworker since then, but I'm having a really hard time reading into it. On the one hand, he made physical contact (albeit with a water bottle) and eye contact, which are both good signs. On the other hand, maybe he was just being polite since his buddy's wife wanted to introduce us?

Neither guy asked for my number, by the way.

I feel like part of the problem is coming out of a LTR and having to figure out my way around men again. I mean, last year I was just coming out of a self-imposed dating hiatus and really taking notice of the men around me and their actions. But for nearly all of 2010 I was involved in a serious relationship with D.  Flirting with others became something that was flattering, but not something I paid much mind.

Now I feel all, "uhhhhhh doi, was that a Flirt?"

Anyone else felt that way after a breakup? I'm sure it'll come back to me, but I'm feeling rather disoriented about it all at the moment.

At any rate, I'm positively pleased that this week has given me not one but two encounters with cute men flirting in some way, shape, or form with me. Sometimes that's all it takes to really accelerate the Acceptance of a breakup!

Craigslist Dating

It's a Friday night.  I'm at home, bored, enjoying a glass of wine, telling myself it's lame to go to bed before 9pm on a weekend night.  So to keep myself awake, I decided to peruse Craigslist singles ads.

Before we get all freaked out, I have no plans to reach out to a stranger online in this manner.  I've heard stories.  I've read articles.  I have given a passing thought (but no more) to the Lifetime channel movie.  I don't plan to meet someone off Craigslist.

But it's really amazing and amusing to see what people post on their ads.  "No chubby chicks", "im not shallow but i dont want fat chiks sorry thats not how i roll".  Then you see their pictures, and they're...well, they're not tiny men.  I wonder what's going through the minds of these guys when they say these things. Are they being funny? And if you're really looking for a "LTR", shouldn't you spell check your ad?

Anyhoo, here are a few of my favorite comments from the personals. They're real winners:

"I've been accused of having GQ–looks". -- You poor thing! I'm so sorry someone accused you of being attractive.

"My sister is almost engaged." -- That's great. Why do I care?

"I have high standards." -- Right. That's why you're on Craigslist.

"Please be one hundred LBS to one hundred fifty-four LBS." -- Should I bring a scale so you can check?

"Don’t be a dude please." -- Ahhh, well, that IS why you're posting under "Men Seeking Women" right?

"I am tiered of being a nice guy and always getting hurt." -- Aren't we all?

"I find myself getting older with each passing day." -- Uhhh, that's usually how Time works.

"IM NOT A PERV." -- The caps aren't helping your cause.

"let me be the Dayquil to your sickness" ….Marry Me.

And how do we feel about online dating?

Let's talk dating.

In my cowtown of a city, there are supposedly plenty of men to meet and date.  We even have a gross little nickname for the city that pokes fun at the high number of single men available for dates.

Menver.

It's shudder-inducing.  Like the name of a city from a soft-core sci-fi porn flick or something.

You really need to click and see that full-size.  I drew a bikini.

Anyhoo. I find myself always wondering what sort of men make up these figures, and where, exactly, all these men are.  I've attended random events in the city ranging from science cocktail hours at the natural history museum to bars and clubs to sporting events. Interestingly, I often see many familiar faces from event to event, which seems to say that even if I try to break out of my homebody-shell and meet new people and experience new things, the same people in the city all get out and attend the same events.

I tried to break it down and attempt to figure out where all these elusive single men are around here.  I figure that if I'm looking for myself (and I am), I must discount any single man who is, or considers himself to be, a hipster.  You know the type, the guy who wears plaid, lives uptown, and spends his time at indie concerts.  As much as I wanted to be a hipster/beatnik when I was in high school, this is clearly not my subtype.

Have you heard of The Spinto Band? No? Oh.

Let us also discount the gay men. They may be single, they may be fabulous, but they don't bat for my team (the one I left confused and almost turned straight notwithstanding. And yeah, I'm pretty sure I deserve a plaque for that.)

A certificate works too

So now what am I left with?

I could go on and on about the different subtypes there are, but suffice it to say I don't feel like I'd have much in common with cowboys, I'm too old for the college boys, and I doubt my brother's "connection" to the professional sports teams will actually pan out (though I continue to dream on about it). This leads me to:

Online dating.

I suppose there are actual places to meet men in this city (namely the bar from a few weekends ago that was full of men and infused vodka), but I am seriously considering jumping into online dating to meet someone. While I'm not ready just yet to put a profile out there, I think in the world of modern dating this is definitely something I should be open to doing once I feel comfortable with dating again.

So this is where I open it up to y'all - what are your thoughts on online dating? If it's a go - which site? Match? eHarmony? Zoosk? (NO, not Zoosk).  I've known quite a few friends who have made great matches online, two of them from Match. Tell me your thoughts - send me a great story about online dating.  Tell me why it'll never work.  Tell me how you and your hubs have been together for years after meeting online.  I want to hear the good and the bad about how this all works. Comment on the blog, send a note via the Twitter handle (http://www.twitter.com/follyofone) or send an email (follyofone[at]gmail[dot]com).

In the words of Frasier, I'm listening.

Irritability is a bitch

Sweet. Crap.

This last week was awful.  I’m accumulating overtime like crazy already, and I had to go in to work today for six hours to catch up on deadlines.

I’ve been racing to the gym after work whenever possible to burn off some anger and energy.  I’ve missed multiple extracurricular activities with friends because of working late.

Also, I’ve entered the Anger Stage of my breakup grief.

So, basically, this is me:

Angry Folly has Don King fire hair

It’s interesting, and I don’t know that it’s interesting in a good way.  I’ve never been so irritated at other people and inanimate objects in my entire life.  Where I usually enjoy spending time with my family, I now want nothing to do with them.  I’m annoyed at just about everyone.  Coworkers, friends, family – Yeah, it’s bad.  

I’m not usually an angry person, and I’m not often angry for long periods of time.  Whenever I get angry, I end up getting angry at myself for being angry, which is just compounding the issue.  I don’t like being angry.  I don’t know how to deal with being angry.  I'm trying.  I'm limiting contact with other people and keeping my mouth shut more often than not to avoid saying something I'll regret.  I'm sure this phase will be over soon enough.  It can only go up from here!

Celebrity crushes - one of them, at least

Well, I know what I’ll be buying next month! Mmmm Andrew Garfield

Just an update, nothing too thrilling (but read it anyway)

I'm currently working on a few things to post, namely a few posts for a feature that's called "Blast From The Past".  It'll be a series of hilarious past dates and follies.  But while those are in the works, let me give you a few updates via a bulleted list:

• Mouse issue still not over.  Found new mouse poops Friday evening when I scrubbed clean my desk before the weekend.  My supervisor is upset that I have to clean the mouse poops myself.  My boss keeps mentioning Hantavirus. I just want this bad dream to end (I'm even dreaming about mice now, away from work. WTF?)
• Haven't seen D lately, and stopped taking the bus to avoid his friends.  I now get home a few minutes later and take the train instead.  I wouldn't mind running into D, but it's more awkward with his friends.
• Going out tonight with the girlies, so that should be fun.  I'm trying to flirt with cute boys I see, just to have a good time and to ensure I've still got "it".  I'm excited to get back out there, but still anxious since I know any dates would be rebounds.  I know I need to let emotions and what-not run their course, but I don't like being patient.
• Was feeling "meh" this morning, then felt better as I ran errands with my parents and spent too much (but a needed amount) of money. THEN my mom and I saw a Valentine's Day aisle, and I said I wasn't ready to look at that, and she said, "Oh, you're coming up on the one year anniversary aren't you?" CUE THE TEARS. (January 31st, my friends. I even procured a gift card ahead of time to a fancy-shmancy restaurant for the occasion I now won't be celebrating. FML.)

So that's a quick and not-so-dirty update.  Everyone have a good weekend, and since we're expected to get buried in a huge snow-storm this weekend, perhaps my first Blast From The Past post will be updated sooner rather than later! (But don't count on that. Seriously, don't. Do you know how many bottles of wine I have at home?)

-Folly

An Update on Mouse Poops

Mr. Terminator came to the office a week or two ago and put some poison under my desk.  From that point forward I didn't see any poops or evidence of mice on my desk or in my drawers.

HOLLA!!!

Today I had to get into my bottom drawer and look through some files for an office committee.

This is what I found:

My boss made a joke about them being chocolate sprinkles.

Here's a close up of that book in the back of the drawer:

Ew ew ew ew ew.

Look at how many poops there are! WTH? SO MANY POOPS.  They were not there right after the poison was placed under my desk, so they're pretty recent.

It's disgusting.  I'm so grossed out.  Everyone in my office came over and had a looksee at the poopers.

Now we're all going to get Hantavirus.

Things That Are Awkward

Those things around my eyes? Glasses. You wouldn't know it from previous illustrations.

I sort of forgot to draw them on. Oops.

 
That would be the same friend from this post.  I ran into him again.  But I didn't want to sit next to him.  I was really into my new music, and I didn't want to take out my earbuds just to chat with someone.  Unless it had been D.  Then I'd have sat next to him and totally made up stories about how awesomely awesome my New Year's Eve was. 

BUT.  I think I should have sat next to D's friend.  I didn't.  I flashed him my pretty pearly whites and then sat somewhere else and rocked out to Mumford & Sons.

Was that bitchy of me? I didn't mean to be bitchy.  He waved and smiled like he expected me to sit next to him.

OH GAWD now I'm unintentionally being a bitch to D's friends.

*Bangs head against wall*

Maybe it won't get back to D.