It's a Friday night. I'm at home, bored, enjoying a glass of wine, telling myself it's lame to go to bed before 9pm on a weekend night. So to keep myself awake, I decided to peruse Craigslist singles ads.
Before we get all freaked out, I have no plans to reach out to a stranger online in this manner. I've heard stories. I've read articles. I have given a passing thought (but no more) to the Lifetime channel movie. I don't plan to meet someone off Craigslist.
But it's really amazing and amusing to see what people post on their ads. "No chubby chicks", "im not shallow but i dont want fat chiks sorry thats not how i roll". Then you see their pictures, and they're...well, they're not tiny men. I wonder what's going through the minds of these guys when they say these things. Are they being funny? And if you're really looking for a "LTR", shouldn't you spell check your ad?
Anyhoo, here are a few of my favorite comments from the personals. They're real winners:
"I've been accused of having GQ–looks". -- You poor thing! I'm so sorry someone accused you of being attractive.
"My sister is almost engaged." -- That's great. Why do I care?
"I have high standards." -- Right. That's why you're on Craigslist.
"Please be one hundred LBS to one hundred fifty-four LBS." -- Should I bring a scale so you can check?
"Don’t be a dude please." -- Ahhh, well, that IS why you're posting under "Men Seeking Women" right?
"I am tiered of being a nice guy and always getting hurt." -- Aren't we all?
"I find myself getting older with each passing day." -- Uhhh, that's usually how Time works.
"IM NOT A PERV." -- The caps aren't helping your cause.
"let me be the Dayquil to your sickness" ….Marry Me.