Friday, January 21, 2011

And how do we feel about online dating?

Let's talk dating.

In my cowtown of a city, there are supposedly plenty of men to meet and date.  We even have a gross little nickname for the city that pokes fun at the high number of single men available for dates.


It's shudder-inducing.  Like the name of a city from a soft-core sci-fi porn flick or something.
You really need to click and see that full-size.  I drew a bikini.

Anyhoo. I find myself always wondering what sort of men make up these figures, and where, exactly, all these men are.  I've attended random events in the city ranging from science cocktail hours at the natural history museum to bars and clubs to sporting events. Interestingly, I often see many familiar faces from event to event, which seems to say that even if I try to break out of my homebody-shell and meet new people and experience new things, the same people in the city all get out and attend the same events.

I tried to break it down and attempt to figure out where all these elusive single men are around here.  I figure that if I'm looking for myself (and I am), I must discount any single man who is, or considers himself to be, a hipster.  You know the type, the guy who wears plaid, lives uptown, and spends his time at indie concerts.  As much as I wanted to be a hipster/beatnik when I was in high school, this is clearly not my subtype.
Have you heard of The Spinto Band? No? Oh.
Let us also discount the gay men. They may be single, they may be fabulous, but they don't bat for my team (the one I left confused and almost turned straight notwithstanding. And yeah, I'm pretty sure I deserve a plaque for that.)

A certificate works too
So now what am I left with?

I could go on and on about the different subtypes there are, but suffice it to say I don't feel like I'd have much in common with cowboys, I'm too old for the college boys, and I doubt my brother's "connection" to the professional sports teams will actually pan out (though I continue to dream on about it). This leads me to:

Online dating.

I suppose there are actual places to meet men in this city (namely the bar from a few weekends ago that was full of men and infused vodka), but I am seriously considering jumping into online dating to meet someone. While I'm not ready just yet to put a profile out there, I think in the world of modern dating this is definitely something I should be open to doing once I feel comfortable with dating again.

So this is where I open it up to y'all - what are your thoughts on online dating? If it's a go - which site? Match? eHarmony? Zoosk? (NO, not Zoosk).  I've known quite a few friends who have made great matches online, two of them from Match. Tell me your thoughts - send me a great story about online dating.  Tell me why it'll never work.  Tell me how you and your hubs have been together for years after meeting online.  I want to hear the good and the bad about how this all works. Comment on the blog, send a note via the Twitter handle ( or send an email (follyofone[at]gmail[dot]com).

In the words of Frasier, I'm listening.


Claire said...

I think you should definitely do it! I don't have personal experience, but it seems like a great way to expand your horizons - plus, based on the questions they ask you it may help you better identify your "type." Plus, you know the guys there are ready for a relationship, which has major advantages over trying to meet someone randomly out in the world.

Nic said...

I tried okcupid with varying results...

1) First guy I emailed I fell in love with although we never met. We spent 2 months sending long, epic emails on a daily basis, to no fruition. I felt like we were perfect for each other except for one little know...meeting.

2) Second guy actually resulted in a very intense, albeit shortlived relationship. We dated about 2 months and then I ended it. He was more charming online than in person.

3) I had three other guys I met and dated them to varying degrees. One date with one, two dates with another, several dates with the last one.

I would recommend a paying site like Match for better results. But I guess I am an advocate for online dating as it truly seems to be "the way" to meet people these days. I would do it again...that is if I ever feel like dating again!