Thursday, February 10, 2011

The Interesting Encounter

I was all set to debut a new feature on the blog called Blast from the Past, where I'll detail interesting and often-bad dates and encounters in my past. I had it all planned out. I had a post ready. It was ready for LAUNCH.

Then Monday morning came around, and I was (very) hungover and this week got off to a (very) slow start. And that same Monday morning when I was hungover and sick and just really not feeling like myself, I of course ran into D and one of his friends (who is hereafter referred to simply as Friend). Just my luck.

Friend sat next to me, and D sat in front of us, and we all had a decent, friendly conversation. At one point, Friend made a rather cutting remark to D about riding bikes that basically boiled down to his saying I had more guts than D when it came to certain physical activities.

Now, I don't know if I've detailed the breakup enough to mention this, but one of the "main reasons" for our split - according to D - was that I don't ride a bike.

This morning, I again ran into Friend. This time, D was not around, and Friend started asking me about D.  He asked if I thought he was pretty tough on D with that biking jab and I said that yeah, actually, he was pretty tough on him.

And he expressed remorse, and said he was teasing and certainly didn't intend to be mean. And I asked if D said something about it, and apparently D was very hurt after Monday's confrontation.  Friend tried to apologize, but he said "D was upset, and didn't really hear the apology." So now D isn't really talking to Friend.

But THEN (oh, there's more) Friend said, "So, you picked up your things."
Folly: "Yes."
Friend: "So, it's really over."
Folly: "Yes."
Friend: "Done."
I nodded my head. And he expressed his displeasure and said he was not happy we split up. And he asked again, "So it's done. It's over."
And I said, "Yeah, it is."
And he said, "Well. It's a shame. It really is."

And I wanted so badly to tell him, "Oh, you know Friend, it's funny D's so butt-sore about Monday's jab because he said something SIMILAR to ME when we split up! HaHaHa!" But I didn't.  I didn't want to start anything or share any relationship info that might be awkward for D and his friends in the long run.

And I have to say, it's so nice to hear that in all of this relationship drama, one of D's friends was in my corner the whole time.  It really is.  It sort of affirms that I didn't screw this up.  I mean, granted, I never really figured that I was the one who screwed up the relationship, but it does feel good.

BUT -  it still leaves me feeling conflicted. Very conflicted. I still don't feel any strong urge to want D back. But at the same time, the thought keeps crossing my mind more. And I'm a little happy/amused to see that things concerning me still affect D, but I'm a little concerned that he's not doing well. Overall, I don't know how to feel, and it's making me uncomfortable.

I think that whatever I'm feeling is normal.  I'm not worried about it.  And I'm still excited to see The Bandleader next weekend and go out with my Single Ladies tomorrow night.  And I plan to have an amazing Valentine's Day complete with wine, pizza, movies, and PJs.  But this is an interesting speed bump on the road to Acceptance.

1 comment:

KB said...

1) Allow yourself to feel at least a little bit "OK" that he's sort of hurting over all this - karma, my friend.
2) Good for his friend, for having this conversation with you and opening up to you - it allowed you a tiny bit more piece of mind, and I'm sure he realized that.
3) Keep moving forward, don't let this speed bump slow you down for very long.