I'll Pencil You In

It's official...

www.freedigitalphotos.net

Folly is seeing a doctor next week! It's overdue, but it's finally happening.  Plus, I was able to get an early morning appointment early in the week, so it's like Win-Win right now.  If the doc can figure out what's up with me, then it'll be Win-Win-Win...or something like that.

Meanwhile, please enjoy this website that my dear friend KB got me hooked on:

Harto & Co.

It's A Cup-Cup-Cup-Cake World

I'm not a food blogger, and I have no intention of becoming a food blogger, much as I love cooking and baking.  Other people have that niche covered, and they're much better about it than I am.  Also, they're probably much cleaner in the kitchen.

But I was so tickled and amused with the Banana Split-flavored cupcakes I made this morning for a work barbecue this afternoon that I had to share everything with you!

I wanted to come up with a great dessert for my office peeps, one they hadn't seen before.  I make brownies all the time so those were nixed.  They love my homemade marshmallows, but a) they've seen them before and b) they're pretty labor intensive.

Then I got my daily email from Hungry Girl and she had a bunch of nifty cupcake recipes.  Hungry Girl is a fun website for healthy food tips, tricks, and recipes that use items most Americans probably have in their pantry.  Now, I'll be honest here and let you know that sometimes she uses processed foods along with fresh foods for her recipes and I'm not big on processed foods. I also don't have many of them in my pantry (or I try not to, anyway) so I don't often make her recipes for that reason.  Since I had to go shopping for food for the barbecue anyway, I didn't mind picking on of her recipes for this occasion!  (All her recipes use Weight Watchers Points so if you follow that diet/lifestyle, it's definitely worth checking out.)

ANYHOO, this is the recipe I used: Banana SplitCakes (that's the printable recipe, so if you click it a fun little window might pop-up. It's also the third recipe down here)

The very first thing I did was make the frosting - Cool Whip and Strawberry Preserves.  Easy peasy.  My apartment gets h-o-t, as I've discovered when making homemade buttercream, so I didn't want my frosting to melt before I had a chance to decorate!! I set it aside, in a bowl in the fridge, and then made the batter:

Yummy, yummy batter

This made me nervous, because I didn't follow the recipe on the cake mix box, but instead followed the Hungry Girl recipe.  As such, I didn't add egg or oil, just some baking powder.  I wasn't sure what to expect (I'm notoriously awful at baking with a recipe - I can either wing it, or I need the recipe to be very, incredibly specific).  The hardest part of the entire process was right here, when I needed to mash - by hand - 4 bananas.  I thought I could just take a fork and mash-mash-mash, but apparently my bananas weren't ripe enough for that. So. It took a while.

Ready for the oven!

I'd also like to point out that this was the TASTIEST cake batter I've ever had.

The recipe said that the cupcakes would take approximately 20 minutes to bake.  I ended up baking them for closer to 30 minutes.  It was hard to tell if they were ready because of the banana in the cake batter. 

Hmm, so far they look normal!

Then I stuck all the cupcakes on a tray and put them in the fridge to cool down while I went to shower, get dressed, and pretty myself up for the barbecue.

The next step was frosting the cupcakes.  I have a nifty cupcake carrier, so I put all the cupcakes in their position before frosting.  It's a little harder to frost them that way, but I'm less likely to drop them or mess them up.  I put the frosting into a plastic baggie and cut the end off so I could pipe it onto the cakes - I figured this would be the least messy way.

Then I grabbed a pinchful of chocolate chips and sprinkled them on the cakes, and topped with a hand-cut maraschino cherry (do you know how EXPENSIVE pre-cut cherries are? Ridiculous.)

Mmmm, hand-cut cherries...

The end result was some pretty stinkin' beautiful cupcakes, and they tasted amazing too!

bon appétit!

Folly's Follies Deserve an Update!

Oh my goodness.  I feel like I've been crazy-busy lately, and I know I'm a total slacker with my blog reading (so sorry everyone!!), and I feel like I sort of left you all with this vision of me as depressed, withering away in my bed all day, not eating.

That's usually me when I'm depressed.

But I was able to pull myself out of bed to go to work, and occasionally get to the gym (and almost fall off an elliptical machine.)  And I was even able to eat a bit of food. Sort of. As much as Trevor would let me.

But now I'm prepping for having some lady friends over tomorrow night, so I only have a bit of time, but I wanted to let you know that Hey! I'm okay!  The plan is to the see the doctor sometime in August, when I get another paycheck and can actually afford to see a doctor.  I hope he'll be able to sort out my moods AND my stomach issues.

Also, WNG and I are finito.  After he contacted me, we hung out once and it was great and comfortable.  We were supposed to hang out a mere two days later, and at the last minute he canceled on me.  He called later that night and I found out that oh – he's got a week of travel here and two travel weeks there and that's all within 5 WEEKS OF EACH OTHER so it's just clear that he has NO time for me right now.  So.  The plan is to sign up for eHarmony in August (again, when I get a paycheck and can afford it).

Even my mother thought it was a great idea, so I figure if my mom approves of online dating then there's no turning back and chickening out now.

It's interesting, though, how many women keep telling me, "awww, he could come around! Maybe you'll work out!"  <-- I had that conversation with a coworker today.  Love her, and she loves hearing about my dating life, but she said that and I just said something vague like, "Yeah, I guess we'll see. I'm not holding my breath haha" while thinking to myself, "Why would I stick with him? I deserve someone who will make time for me!"

In addition to sounding like a whiny, love-struck 17-year-old, I've been working on some professional growth things – attending classes and whatnot – so I'm hoping to move forward into a different career within the next year.  Things are looking up, so I'm hoping this will all lift my mood a bit! Maybe even Trevor will be happier, too!

So, in short (but really, longer than intended) I'm feeling better and looking forward to just moving forward with everything.  Here's hoping things continue movin' on up! 

Oh, and my cashier at the liquor store today? McHottie.  Also, McFlirtie.  Must purchase more alcohol on Thursday evenings!!

STOP THE PRESSES!!

Good heavens, Follies, STOP THE PRESSES!!

WNG contacted me.  The guy I'd completely written off contacted me, eager to get together after a few busy weeks at work.

Say wha--?

I'd really written him off.  I mean, sure, my gut a while back told me to wait it out, and my two closest, bestest friends told me to wait it out a bit longer, but based on every previous experience ever, when a guy says he's too busy, it does NOT mean he's too busy.  It means he's not interested in ever seeing me again and can't say so.

But now, here's WNG.

We have two dates set up - today and Tuesday.  I was just perusing a singles event at the local zoo (happening in two weeks) and was pricing tickets when he contacted me.  I wonder if I can convince him to purchase a ticket...we can pretend to meet there...I mean, listen, people at this event get to take part in interactive exhibits with the animals.  I could meet a giraffe, or an elephant.  So, I kinda want to go.

Anyhoo, back to the point of this post - not that there is a point, but I'll try to come up with one - apparently, guys really can be busy.  I don't think it excuses him disappearing for a while, but in his case, it was true.

Which means I really don't understand guys now.  But at least I have one happy point back in my life. Now, to work on happying the other points...

Folly Considers Online Dating and Also Loves Giraffes

There are two things that make me feel better when I'm feeling down: Cleaning the house and working out.  Now, I'm a naturally lazy person, so neither of these things are all that appealing to me in ANY mood, but I'm pretty sure there's scientific evidence out there about a clean house equaling a clearer mind; however, I'm feeling lazy and I don't feel like searching it out and finding it for you. So, you'll have to trust me on that. I mean, c'mon - would I lie to you??

I wouldn't.

Promise.

I went to the zoo today, so I was walking for hours out in the sunshine.  Sunshine + walking = much happier mood.  Then, when I got home, I cleaned up a bit around the house, especially the kitchen area.  Clean kitchen = much clearer mood.

I thought I was having a good day. At the very least, a rational day.

But once I sat down, got online, and started relaxing, I realized I wasn't in a good mood.  Apparently, it was only temporarily.

I still haven't seen WNG.  We texted last Friday, but he never responded.  I haven't heard from him, we haven't set up a date, and I have no friggin' clue what's going on with us. At this point, it's been a week and I've decided it's pretty clear - we're over.  He's not interested. Who knew the Nice Guys were such chicken shits?

So now I'm more seriously looking at dating websites. I think I'm able to afford it now, since I've recently received a pay raise at work (yay!) so I just have to pick one.  I wish they posted their "Free Communication Weekends" in advance - I'd hate to sign up and pay for a few months and then have them promote a free weekend!! (although last year there was a free weekend at the end of July, so maybe another one will happen soon??)

I've narrowed it down to Chemistry.com and eHarmony.com.  I know about 10 people who met their current paramours/husbands on eHarms, and I'm familiar with the scientist behind Chemistry.com (she's came to speak at my university while I was there. Luv huh!). I know both of these sites have some of the longest personality questionnaires, but I'm okay with that if it helps me get a better match.

Plus, they're pretty popular and well-known, so I feel like there will be more people signed up.  Or, to be clearer, there will be more GUYS signed up, therefore more chances for a match.

I can only afford one, so I'll have to make a choice.  So far, I'm leaning toward eHarms, but only time will tell. Naturally I'll keep you all posted (since apparently this blog is staying put, as I haven't figured out what I want to do with it/my "brand/etc. haha).

To end on a happy note, I give you a picture I took today of a giraffe.  I'm a sucker for anything giraffe-print, including actual giraffes.

And oh heck, let's throw in a Giraffe video, courtesy of SNL and Hulu, for the heck of it:

Folly Gets Serious

At first, I was convinced I was Depressed.  The feeling's been going on for a few weeks now and I even put calling my doctor on my list of Things To Do But Will Procrastinate In Doing, but there was something off about it.  Something not so...sad.  Now, I'm generally a Depressive person, and I know what Depression feels like for me.  This was off.  So then I decided I must be suffering from Anxiety.  Again, something I know about.  In high school, I used to suffer Panic Attacks and Vertigo just at the thought of raising my hand to answer a question.

Despite my love of Alfred Hitchcock, I can't stand this movie.

I decided against the Anxiety when I realized I wasn't actually anxious about anything.  So I went back to Depression.

I'm still not positive that's what it is, since it seems different than what I've experienced before, but I'm certainly feeling something.  I have a lot of reasons to feel run-down, depressed, stressed-out, or more.  Mom is still unemployed, has been for 19 months, and it's really taking a toll on her.  She's very depressed, lacking confidence, and, as it happens with unemployment, money is tight.  She's also admitted that it's taking a toll on her and my father's relationship.

I'm not seriously worried about them, but I don't like to hear those things.

In addition, I spent the last four weeks training for my first ever 5k race, held on The Fourth.  I didn't run the 3.1 miles straight through, but I did my darndest and I achieved all of my goals for the event:
A.   Finish in under 45 minutes
B.   Don't be the last to finish
C.   Just Finish. Alive.

That other time is the "chip time", whatever that is.

I finished the race in 37:43.83, well under my 45 minute goal. YAY ME! Unfortunately, the training and the race left me completely spent.  I'll be honest - I did not take as good of care of myself as I should have with the training and the running.  I didn't drink enough water, I didn't eat enough protein - lesson learned, for sure.

So, what do we have so far? We have mom's stressors, which are a domino effect for the rest of the family.  We have physical stressors, from the running and the training.  We have the already existing stressors from trying to figure out a career path and dealing with Trevor the Terrible Large Intestine.

My feet are covered with 'skeeter bites (apparently wearing flip-flops, after running, on a summer night = bugs descend like crazy).  Oh, my computer keeps going berserk-o on me and I have no idea why!

Basically, it all adds up to be not being in a good head space.  Then, of course, there's WNG.  WNG is working a lot, and he was gone on the holiday weekend, and so I haven't seen him in over two weeks.  I haven't spoken to him on the phone in almost as long.  We've conversed ever-so-briefly via text messages in the last two days, but we haven't made any plans to see each other.

This upsets me.

But I can't tell if it upsets me because there's actually a root issue, or if it upsets me because I have so much going on right now that I can't deal with a boy at the moment.

I've tried to listen to my Gut, and determine if it's a Gut Issue or a Dragon Issue, but I have no feeling about it.  No Gut feelings.  No Dragon feelings.  Just unclear, upset feelings.

I don't really know where I'm going with this rant.  I started writing all these things down for myself and felt the need to share them with others.  Perhaps I'm just tired and just need some sleep.  Perhaps I somehow managed to fuck things up with this great guy and ended up with a crash-n-burn relationship to show for it.  Or, perhaps I'm just overthinking things with WNG because of other things going on right now. 

I don't know.  I just really don't know what's going on with any part of my life right now.  When I go back and preview the post, I feel so stupid about even complaining about the WNG issues.  I read what I've written and think, logically, this is No. Big. Deal.  But it doesn't feel like it's no big deal.

Geez, what am I, 17 again?

Effff.....