You see, I'm in a pickle. A big, giant, green, kosher, dill pickle about the whole bloggy-blog world and where it fits with me. I like it. I love it. I want some more of it - except for when I post some drunken posts. (But hey - those can be edited or deleted!)
Now - the pickle. The real pickle. The pickle that may not be a pickle at all (so, it's a cucumber?). As you may (or, rather, SHOULD) know, I've been seeing this great guy I call WNG. Pronounced as "wing". WNG is awesome. WNG is nice. WNG is someone with whom I can have a conversation about Tea Party politics, Dumb and Dumber and why we both don't like it, and our most embarrassing drunken incidents all in one night. While missing out on the event we're attending. That we paid to attend.
In short, he's great, I've met his sister, and at this point I don't want to fuck this up. Hence the pickle (or cucumber). Because while I don't think something as silly as a personal blog could possibly break up a couple (and if it could, maybe the couple shouldn't have been together anyway), I also don't think it's something worth coming between a great couple. What if he doesn't want me to write about him at all? What if he's uncomfortable with the fact that I had 4 dates within 9 days with 3 different guys, and he was one of the guys (and two of the dates)?
Most importantly and speculatively, what if he's uncomfortable with all The Bandleader posts?
Because you see follies, WNG is a friend of The Bandleader.
I always tend to speculate and postulate and other-lates and this could clearly not be a big issue. He may not even be a good or great or best friend. But I want to make sure I'm upfront and honest about everything, no keeping unnecessary secrets here, because a) Again, I don't want to fuck this up and b) We've been so honest up until now that there's no point in hiding a silly little blog. But I also bring this up because I want to add to the blog a few small details that add up to one very significant change: My name and face.
I don't write solely about dates anymore. In fact, I'm thinking I won't be writing about future dates at all, save for one very important doozy of a post to come soon (don't worry Josie, it's the post about the date with the overly-talkative Lawyer - it needs comics!!).
But adding my face and name makes it a little more real. A little more personable. And a little less creepy and stalkery. It also makes me way easier to find online, hence the up-til-now delay in attaching names and faces and whatnot.
I mean, someone could Google me and then I'd pop up! What then?
I'm rambling, I know, but perhaps you see where I'm coming from. Attaching a name and a face to a currently-anonymous blog is a big step digitally, and it could have a ripple effect elsewhere in my life. That was the point of the hiatus - to determine any ripples.
I haven't found them, but I'm sure they're there.
I like my blog, and I don't find anything about it overly embarrassing, but I'm scared to sort of open it up and let it out onto the world. I'm a digital hypochondriac of sorts - I figure anything that could happen because of a blog will happen to me (I'll be fired, I'll get nasty messages from family, my friends will hate me, any and all future boyfriends will leave me...
Geez, why did I start a blog in the first place?
Anyhoo, I'll probably have a few more posts about my anxiety about the blog as I give myself a heart attack over the non-issues at hand, so you should probably get ready to roll your eyes at poor Folly. In the mean time, here's a pretty photo (because I'm bad at writing conclusions):
|I did actually take that photo in Hell, Cayman Islands. Awesome, yeah?|