Out to strike while the iron is hot!

I just wrote an incredibly heartfelt post about my mood swings, my mental state, and my having a quarter-life crisis.

Then read through it, teared up at the emotion behind my words, and realized there was no way I could post this.  Not yet, anyway.  It made me sound far more depressed and sad than I'm currently feeling.

I look cute, I'm in a chipper-for-my-current-state-of-mind mood, and feel like now is the time to get out among people while I have the energy!  Plus I'm still feeling all lovey-dovey after today's wonderful, uplifting, and GORGEOUS nuptials, so instead of catching up on others' and my own blogs, I'll instead be out grocery shopping whilst overdressed in the hopes of getting my flirt on, or at least keeping my chipper mood alive for as long as possible.  Might as well strike while the iron is hot, amiright?

Folly's in a Fünke

Michal Marcol/www.freedigitalphotos.net

It's time to get personal.  I said I was looking to go this route, I received some wonderful feedback about it (thanks!), so get ready, follies, because here goes.

I'm in a Fünke.  I get down and blue every so often - it's sort of a regular thing with me - so being in a Fünke itself isn't so bad or abnormal.  This particular Fünke seems to be lasting a bit longer, however, and that's starting to bother me.  I'm usually able to hide my Fünkes while at work or out with the family, but lately I haven't been able to do that.  Little things are really starting to get to me.  Usually I can deal with a fair amount of negativity around me, either by ignoring it or occasionally taking part (misery loves company), but lately I just want to yell "SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" at everyone.  And naturally I was angry at having to wake up for work this morning.  Sure, I'm upset every Monday morning when I realize the sun's not yet up and I have to go to work, but it's taking me longer and longer to even want to wake up in the morning.

I basically feel like I just can't get happy.  I was looking at jobs and salaries last night, and realized that someone in my position in the private sector, with my experience and whatnot, is averaging TWICE the yearly salary I make.  Do you know how depressing that is, to know that someone out there is doing the same thing you're doing and making twice what you make while your take-home pay is being cut each year because of the recession? I didn't think I wanted to continue this type of job as part of my 5 year plan, but hell - they have career movement! And real salaries that can pay the bills!  Suddenly it's an option.

I find myself dreaming of adult things - a new car, being a homeowner sooner rather than later, how in the world I'm going to pay my car insurance come August, when I'll be able to afford a dog, what sort of job/career I want...These are things I want and need to start budgeting for, but it's very difficult to do right now.

It's been rainy and cloudy here, which isn't helping the fünke at all.  I'm so tired of wearing sweaters!!  I just want some sunny and warm weather that lasts longer than a day.  I finally worked on my college scrapbook last night to perk up my mood, which was very nice and therapeutic, but pulling out all that stuff always make me realize how little room I really have in my apartment.

Then, because I must add in something terribly frivolous to the list of fünke-causers, I won't be able to stay up all night and watch the Royal Wedding.  Because I have to work the next day.  And this depresses me because I got myself all excited to stay up late and throw a party and watch it without realizing I had totally miscalculated the time difference (for some reason I thought it would take place at 2am on SATURDAY my time, not 2am on FRIDAY my time. Oops.)  And even if I did stay up (I haven't been sleeping very well, so I might end up watching the wedding) I won't be able to pop open my sparkling rosé wine to toast the happy couple, again because of that little thing called work.

Okay, jesting aside I don't REALLY care that I can't watch the wedding as it airs, and there will be plenty of reruns throughout the next six months, I'm sure.  But at least being able to watch it with some rosé bubbly and hors d'oeuvre would have been fun and perked my mood up a bit!

I'm just feeling so negative about everything in life right now - relationships, job-hunting, my future.  I find myself crying at the drop of a hat about everything.

On top of all this negative energy I'm heaping upon myself, I'm utterly determined to finally start taking charge, suck it up, and deal with Trevor, which means:

No onions, leeks, garlic, chives, or anything else in the Allium family
No fake, processed, artificial meals
No refined sugars
No potatoes
No fried foods
No popcorn
Limited artificial sweetener
Limited alcohol
Limited bread products
Limited milk products
Limited caffeine
Limited berries

ONION FIGHT!!!

My first thought after reading through this list was, "Well, this diet is going to make future dates a lot of fun".  It basically means I'll be eating a lot more fruits and veggies - which I, thankfully, already eat quite a bit of, but this also means I must go grocery shopping more often than I do now, which is already difficult since I only get paid once a month. It also means I basically have to cook everything I eat myself.  I love to cook, but once I factor in my commute, my workouts, and any sort of social life...my cooking time is often limited to quick meals or just the weekends.  Now I have all these restrictions and I am at a loss in the kitchen.  I'm not sure if you knew this about me, but I basically live on potatoes and potato products. And wine. But we all knew that :)  I just can't help feeling that this is all a little...well,

It's depressing.  I think that's the point I'm getting at with all these complaints, gripes, and petty grievances.  It's depressing, and I'm not sure how to lift myself up from it all.  I wish I could get all perky, and look at all these things with a positive outlook and say, "Hey! Just think of how much better Trevor will feel!"  or "One day I'll totally own my own house!" But that just isn't helping me right now (and I wouldn't be surprised if this sudden dietary shift is partially at fault for the sourpuss moods as of late).

If I can attempt to look on the positive side for just a moment, and because I'd like to end this blog on some semblance of positivity, I fully expect to have tons more energy after a week or so on my new diet!!

And my skin will probably be amazing.

Salvatore Vuono/www,freedigitalphotos.net

But still - the point of this post remains:  Folly's in a fünke, and she doesn't know how to get out.

How I Met . . . Pescado

Pescado stood behind the counter, rearranging the fish in the glass case.  I was with my mother at the natural grocer's, and she needed to purchase some fresh mahi mahi for the meal she wanted to make for my father.  I had the day off work and accompanied her for the heck of it.  I stood back, looking awkward in my metallic sandals and casual shorts-and-top combo.  Pescado was cute, a little different than my usual "type" but in a good way.  I was trying not stare.  In any sort of professional or personal relationship, I have no problem making eye contact and holding it for an extended period of time, but when first meeting and flirting with someone, it's very difficult for me to do so.

Especially with my mother right there.

So I stood back, away from the counter.  I wasn't interested in the fish anyway.  I heard a male voice say, "I don't bite," so I looked up and saw Pescado, looking my way and smiling. "Come a little closer, I don't bite."

My mom smiled at me, so I smiled back at both her and Pescado.  She politely stepped away and left me to deal with Pescado...and the fish she'd requested.  We chatted for a bit, nothing too serious.  He handed me her mahi mahi and asked, "Could I take you out for dinner sometime?"

I was stunned.

"Um, yeah, uh sure," I managed to stammer out.  He smiled, looked behind him, and then took off his fishmonger's apron.  Next thing I knew, he was standing -- towering -- next to me, flip-phone in hand, waiting for my name and number.

I gave it to him and we parted ways.  He went back behind the counter to put on his apron and continue hocking fish to customers; I had to find my mother and hand over the fish.

Homemade Potato Chips Are More Difficult to Make Than I Expected

I am so behind on the blog reading and the blog commenting and the blog posting and other blog what-have-yous.  Thank you, follies, for your comments on how to deal with Mr. Andy Griffith and on other posts.  Apologies if I haven't responded to them (hard enough to do on Blogger, anyway...). I do have some topics like I'd like to discuss on the blog, but with how busy work is getting and the attention to detail those posts would require, I just can't bring myself to focus on them at all.  Not to mention, the weather is getting wonderful so I'm spending less time around my computer and more time outside.  Good for me...not so good for the blog.

Since the weather is perking up around here, so the shorts and minis have come out of the closet.  On Saturday I wore a wonderful, floral dress to a luncheon.  Felt a little early in the season for such a short dress, but it was 70+ degrees outside! I couldn't resist!

In other news, I haven't yet been in to Panera to deal with Mr. Andy Griffith.  I know I should just nip this in the bud while it's still relevant, but I can't justify buying coffee just to deal with him when I can't afford a cuppa right now.  I sort of went over budget his month and....well, I really need to be making coffee at home for a while.  So.  I still don't know how that's going to end up.  Maybe if I give him a few days and then deal with that will drive the message home more?

I've also been toying with the idea of making this more of a personal blog than just a dating blog.  For one, my dating life isn't moving forward at the moment, and I'm finally okay with that.  I think a dating detox where I just don't focus on dating is a good thing right now.  But that doesn't do much for a dating blog.  I've found that I really love blogging, and for the most part I'm good at keeping up with it, so I don't know that a personal blog is out of the question.  Still toying with that....

I hope the next post will be more interesting for you all.  I'm still alive here, and once work is less busy I hope to have more to post.  Only a few more weeks until the busy season at the office is over!!

And in side news, my new favorite television show is "The Killing", and I wish I could find the original Danish version to check it out.  I think it's genius television, and I'm now convinced that AMC is the best channel ever.  Also, my favorite episode of Family Guy is on tonight ("The Tan Aquatic with Steve Zissou") so it looks like I won't be catching up on some Mad Men tonight.

In yet other news, I'm making homemade potato chips with leftover potato slices from this weekend's family dinner, and I always forget how difficult they are to make.  Half of them burn way too quickly and the other half don't cook at all.  At the crispy ones are tasty!!

Men Be Actin' Crazy Up In Here

Monday morning, I saw Mr. Andy Griffith.  I see him often, as I grab my early-morning coffee, but Monday morning was different.  He asked me to have a seat with him for a while.  I sat to chat, but I felt mildly uncomfortable.  This changed up my whole morning.  Usually, I get into work about 20 minutes early, with the office to myself, and eat breakfast and drink coffee.  I get time alone to wake up, destress from the morning commute, and prep for the day.  But instead I was with Mr. Andy Griffith who, as it turns out, is rather talkative in the morning.

And Monday morning, he talked an awful lot - mostly about his son.  Who is a firefighter.  And who just happened to be coming to meet his dad for coffee on Wednesday morning.

Which, naturally, meant I should be sure to show my face at my coffee place on Wednesday morning.

So I did.  I figured it couldn't be a bad idea, right? I wasn't changing my routine for anyone, and why should I consciously pass up the opportunity to meet a single firefighter? This morning I waltzed into the coffee shop for my coffee, a smile on my face, eyes bright -- no small feat after being out all night at a concert.  (I'm an old lady, I just can't do that on a work night anymore!)

I purchased my coffee cup.

I filled my cup with coffee.

I turned to Mr. Andy Griffith. There was no Firefighter.  He asked me to sit with him, and I did, but I was clear that I could only stay for a few minutes.  He told me how much he had missed me when I didn't get my coffee yesterday.  Even before I met Mr. Andy Griffith, I did not visit the shop every day.  I can't afford to buy coffee every day.  But now, if I don't go in every morning, he tells me in an old, creepy way how much he misses me.

We chatted for a bit.  He talked about politics (not an okay topic, when he doesn't know me) and I politely excused myself after a few minutes so I could get to work on time.  He took my hand in both of his to say goodbye - a slightly old-fashioned but not necessarily inappropriate gesture - and held it tightly. Very tightly.  And he wouldn't let go. 

And Folly's stomach got that feeling, you know, the Gut, if you will, that maybe I don't like Mr. Andy Griffith so much anymore.  I wasn't sure how to feel about him the past week, when he started talking to me more and more, but sometimes Folly can be a mean little bitch, and he seemed like such a nice old man.

Well, Folly no longer cares if she's a mean little bitch because The Gut is raring in full force, and Mr. Andy Griffith is giving me the willies.  Follies, if you have some advice on how to excise the talkative Mr. Andy Griffith from my morning coffee run, please let me know.  I don't want to give up my coffee place, but I dread the thought of telling an old man that he's crossed a creepy-line, when he may or may not even know it.  I don't know, Follies, I don't know.  I just know my Gut is really fired up about this guy.


____


In other news, Coworker talked to me today about The Bandleader.  Turns out he's been pining over a girl for over a YEAR now, and they started dating at about the time Coworker introduced us, but she didn't know about the girl until recently.  So.  I was correct in trusting my gut and not contacting him.  He sounds like a repeat of D, and I don't need that!

And the Blogger Award Goes to:

As a nice break from my normal blogging on about boys and crushes and dating and whathaveyou, I'd like to thank Ms. Josie Speaks Up... for awarding me with a the Versatile Blogger Award! It's a neat little award that goes blogger-to-blogger.  Part of this award is that I must include 7 things about myself and then nominate other bloggers for an award.

So here goes.

|1| Wine just *may* be the greatest beverage ever invented by humankind.  I'm rather obsessed with it, I think it's overpriced in restaurants but drink it anyway, and I try not to sound like a know-it-all when I discuss different varietals and vintages with people.  I don't know that I'm all that successful in that last bit.

|2| I really hate when I get an itch on the part of my scalp directly under a ponytail.  Most irritating thing, like, EVER.

|3| If I could take two foods with me on a desert island, I'd take grapes and potatoes.  It's ingenious, really: Grapes for fruit and sweets, and also WINE.  Potatoes for starches and carbs, and also VODKA.

|4| I just made a hamburger on my indoor panini-grill, and I'm rather impressed with myself.

|5| I hate flirting.  Loathe it.  I'm awful at it, and I can't tell the difference between when I'm being just subtle enough and when I'm being too subtle.  

|6| Despite my sometimes avid twittering, I really don't like Twitter.  But in this social media hey-day it seems silly not to have a Twitter to go with my blog.  So...I have a Twitter.

|7| Ever since watching "America's Next Top Model" for the first time, I practice my model walk wherever I go. FIERCE!

And now for the awards!

 Degree Times Three is awarded . . . The Versatile Award, for being such a versatile person in real life.

 Always Ashten is awarded . . . The Sticktoitiveness Award, for sticking to her set Quote of the Week and Woo Hoo Wednesday like a pro.  I can't even bother to post about my Blasts from the Past on a regular basis, so props to you, Ashten!

 The Fashion Issue is awarded . . . The Most Fashionable Award, for understanding trends and fashions at a different level than most people.

 And, lastly, Some Spare Thyme is awarded . . . The Tastiest Award.  Now, I'm exempting Some Spare Thyme from having to post and nominate again because I know she's done this before, but if you haven't checked out her awesome recipes (like red velvet cake balls!) then you must get over there STAT!

Matchmaker Matchmaker Make Me a Match

I wanted to draw you, my follies, a wonderful comic of the scene I'm about to portray for you.  I haven't had a comic on here for a while and I think you deserve one.  You really do. 

But you won't be getting one.  Because, well, Folly's a little busy right now.  And this post needs to go up today or it will lose it's appeal.  So enjoy, and I promise future comics of Folly's follies.

There is something to be said for professional matchmakers.  I've already pointed out how open I am to being set up with friends, friends of friends, etc. I'm comfortable with blind dates, I don't mind, but I do have an expectation that people who decide to set me up with guys they know have experience in amateur matchmaking and can make appropriate comments to encourage interest in either party.

I've already covered the slightly-botched matchmaking involved with The Bandleader.  Now let's cover the initial matchmaking attempt that happened last night.

Picture it: A bookclub meeting, 2011 (I'm channeling my inner Sophia Petrillo).  I sat on the comfy couch at my bookclub meeting next to a fellow bookclubber I haven't seen in a while.  As we chatted, The Bookclubber came up and sat next to me on the other side.  The following conversation ensued:

Bookclubber: "Sooooooo Folly, there's this guy at my work who's really cute."

Me: "Uh-huh..."

Bookclubber: "And he's asked me out, but I have a boyfriend, obviously, but he's really cute and I think you guys would get along!"

Me: "...Uh-huh..."

Bookclubber: "So yeah, I work with him--"

Other person: "Ooooo so he's really smart!" (bookclubber is in a science-y field. So -- she's got smarts)

Bookclubber: "Yeah! He's in Sales."

Me: "Okay."

Bookclubber: "He's really into his job."

"He's really into his job." <--what???  Is this good?  Does he have a social life?  Is he just ambitious?  Is he just a workaholic?  In the words of Double-rainbow Guy, "What does it mean?

Then,

Bookclubber: "He's Hispanic."

Me: "...okay."

Bookclubber: "Second generation.  He was born here."

Me: "Okay."

Bookclubber: "He's 26."
Me: "That's a good age for me."

Bookclubber: "Yeah!"

Aaaaaaaaand that was it.  I don't know if she was trying to determine my stance on immigration, or see if I have issues with dating outside my race, but it all just come off as....odd.  I mean listen, I've set my stance before that I am super okay and cool with setups, but I feel like she's overselling him to me.  I'm confused.  I don't get it.  I don't even know what, if anything, is going to happen.

All I know is that I have a chance at a free dinner here (and I never thought I'd be that girl who says that!).  And even if everything goes array, I'll have a great blog post eh? EH?

Eh.

Celebrity Crush - Adrien Brody

So, I've always loved Adrien Brody.  There's something about his crooked little (big) nose that just turns me on.  Then I saw "Splice" and I started to seriously rethink my celebrity crush because, follies, that movie was straight up AWFUL.  I don't care what it's Tomato Meter rating is, that movie was HORRIBLE.  And I told myself, "Self, you are not allowed to have a crush on this man again."

Then I saw these pictures and thought, well, it's totally okay to include Adrien Brody on my Celebrity Crush list as long as I don't list him as my number one crush.

So, follies, please enjoy some Adrien Brody :)

Pictures credit to www.celebszz.com